Double Standards! Only 2 Points per Serving…

Let me make something crystal clear. The Weight Watchers program is the unequivocal best way to lose weight and keep it off. I know, I sound like a commercial, but if you need to lose weight and you don’t try Weight Watchers you’re only kidding yourself. The following diatribe does not exist for me to extol the awesomeness that is Weight Watchers. However, before turning the rant meter up to 11, I wanted to ensure that the specifics of my gripe will not be misconstrued as a more general dislike for Weight Watchers.

Anyway, on to the rant…

For those of you who don’t know a lot about Weight Watchers (hereon referred to as WW because I feel like being lazy), let’s go over a few things:

• WW requires you to establish a goal weight. Once you reach your goal weight, and prove through a six week purgatory period that you can maintain it, you become what WW refers to as a “lifetime member.”
• Participation in WW carries a regular fee, typically monthly in nature. However, once you become a lifetime member, WW becomes free of charge unless you gain too much weight back.
• WW is a multifaceted approach to weight loss, one aspect of which is a weekly meeting to provide group support during the oftentimes challenging process of weight management.
• These weekly meetings are run by a “leader,” an employee of WW who is also a lifetime member of WW.

Got it? Good. Now on to the fun.

How do you determine your goal weight, you ask? Well, there are two ways. One is a handy chart in your introductory WW pamphlet which provides the acceptable goal weight range based on your BMI. The other is a note from your physician stating his or her prescribed goal weight for you. Since BMI is consistently and widely admonished for its flawed nature, most people seek out a doctor’s note with a reasonable and livable goal weight. So if you have a reasonable doctor, he or she will suggest a reasonable goal weight; a weight that likely is many pounds above your recommended BMI. And by many pounds, I mean tens of pounds. Since WW is doctor’s note friendly the program is not churning out sickly thin people who can’t maintain their weight loss. Nothing wrong here, right? Nope sounds good. But let’s keep looking…

Let’s say you join WW. Let’s say you get a doctor’s note to set your goal weight. As above, it’s a reasonable weight and accepted by WW. Over the course of time and various trials and tribulations, you successfully reach your goal weight. Perhaps at the end you’ve lost 30 pounds, or 50 pounds, or even 100 pounds. Regardless, you are exhilarated by your success and happily accept the reward of free WW meetings. But you want to do more. Living through the challenges of losing the weight and keeping it off, you decide you want to become a WW Leader. After all, you’re a lifetime member now and you’ve shown your worth, right?

Wrong. At least according to WW.

If you want to be a Leader you don’t just have to be a lifetime member, you also have to maintain a weight within 10% of your BMI. Think about that for a minute. First off, a doctor supplied goal weight could easily have a 25 pound or greater difference between it and your BMI. So to lose more weight to get within 10% of your BMI could produce a much skinnier you than your doctor considers healthy. Furthermore, if it’s acceptable to become a lifetime member by doctor’s note, why isn’t it acceptable to become a leader based on the same merits?

What we have here, dear readers, is a good old double standard. WW preaches the importance of being true to yourself and being comfortable with your weight. It indoctrinates you with criticality of having a livable goal weight. Some Leaders will go so far as point out how unrealistic BMI is – and they should. All of these statements and practices are invaluable. But to have this double standard for Leaders flies in the face of their validity. Does that mean not reaching your BMI really isn’t ok? Isn’t that what this tells you? It’s like a doctor-inspired goal weight is accepted by WW to provide its members some sort of consolation prize. “Good for you. <pat on the back> You did great, so we’ll go easy on you now. But you’re not really good enough for us.” I can even hear the patronizing tone.

So while WW is doing the right thing by setting people up to have reasonable expectations, its also trying to please our magazine cover tainted eyes with its Leaders. The problem is the latter undermines the former. If reasonable expectations are so important, why place unreasonable expectations on the people that should serve as role models?

Unlike my typical rant, this one I feel particularly strongly about. I want to see something done about it. So I throw out this humble request…

If you belong to WW, raise this issue with your Leader, your Leader’s boss, or drop a note in the suggestion box or what have you. Let’s make it clear to WW that we will not stand for such double standards!

Turn off the cruise control…

I think it’s time for another rant and another clue about the nature of yours truly. I’m going to complain a bit about a concept I’ve dubbed Cruise Control GMing. So right off the bat, if you don’t play tabletop role-playing games feel free to scoot on past this post. Furthermore, if you don’t play D&D, you still might want to pass on this one since my rant will be heavily steeped in D&D-ness.

Before we go any further, I’m going to lay down a disclaimer. As a general rule, I hate disclaimers (perhaps a discussion for another time). However I think it best to throw one out here to prevent this post from being misconstrued. This rant is not an “I hate D&D 4^th Edition” post. While some people may have a hard time accepting this notion, it is possible to have an issue with a set of role-playing rules and not despise the rules as a whole. If you can’t accept this concept, this is likely not a rant you will be able to appreciate.

So now that I’ve yet again nullified my reader-base, on with the rant!

So what’s Cruise Control GMing and what does it have to do with 4^th Edition? Well, Cruise Control GMing is the concept of following the game rules to the letter and saying flat out “No” to any attempts by players to do something outside of those rules. Clearly this concept is not exclusive to 4^th Edition. I’m sure many a player has experienced a game with a GM that just refuses to bend the rules at all. In my opinion, that’s just unfortunate. Role-playing games are perhaps the best (and last?) leisure activity to take full advantage of the imagination and player creativity. When you distill role-playing down to its core, that’s what it’s all about. So shooting down player ideas is synonymous with killing creativity. Sooner or later, players will decide it best to just follow the rules and a portion of their brains will turn off for the game session. A portion that used to be, and should be, alive and kicking at the game table.

Now I’m sure some of you are already up in arms over this. Some of you are screaming, “But if I always say yes instead of no, my players will run roughshod over my game!” And you’re probably right. But the point to make here is that saying “yes” doesn’t have to come without caveats. And there’s where the GM has the capacity to allow creativity but maintain game balance and verisimilitude. Saying “No” should always be right out. But saying “Yes, but…” is a good way to give players what they want and what you, the GM, wants as well. For the sake of “brevity” I’ll refrain from specific examples for now.

On to where 4^th Edition comes in.

For the first time in the history of D&D, we have a set of rules that is exceptionally codified. If you read Power X, you know exactly what it’s going to do, how it can be used, and who can use it. There’s little to no room for misinterpretation. That’s by design. D&D 4^th Edition is a well-tuned gaming machine that does it’s darnedest to provide a balanced game for players and GMs alike. And for the most part, it appears to succeed at this goal. Say what you will about the nature of 4^th Edition, but it is unequivocally the most balanced edition of D&D to date.

However, this breeds other problems. Those of you familiar with D&D 4^th Edition are surely aware of the oft-referenced Page 42 in the DMG. This legendary page holds within it the rules a GM can reference to handle actions and events that may occur in a game that fall outside the scope of the codified rules. It’s one page. On one hand, it’s a very powerful page. On the other, it’s only one page and easily overlooked. And perhaps that’s the problem – that it’s overlooked.

The problem is this general tendency I have witnessed (primarily on game forums, but also in tales from friends playing in 4^th Edition games) to more or less ignore page 42 and just say “No” to player ideas that fall outside the scope of their prewritten powers and skills. That just sucks.

I single out D&D 4^th Edition because I feel the highly codified nature of the game coupled with a minimalist section on how to handle things outside the norm engenders a “if it’s not in the rules you can’t do it” mentality. Everyone who plays 4^th Edition knows the rules as written are tuned for game balance, so clearly that means anything not already written must be unbalanced, right? Wrong. It’s the responsibility of the GM to allow players to TRY things they want to do that fall outside of the rules but to modify the chances of success based on the nature of the action and the environment.

Sounds tough, right? Well it can be. And that’s part of the problem. It’s a hell of a lot easier to just say “it’s not in the rules so you can’t do it.” With the advent of 4^th Edition, running a game has never been easier. GMs need to know fewer rules, can prep encounters much faster, and so on. It’s very easy to “sit back” and run a game than ever before. In some ways this is great since running a game always has the potential to be a hefty burden, so anything that lifts some of that burden is a good thing. But it’s not a good thing if it inspires GMs to be lazy.

So I put out a challenge to all you GMs running 4^th Edition. The next time a player says, “Hey, I want to disarm the Frost Giant wielding the huge battle axe made of ice,” don’t say, “No, you can’t disarm, it’s not in the rules.” Don’t Cruise Control GM. Instead say, “You can try if you’d like. Understand I’m going to impose a -2 penalty to your attack because he’s holding the axe with 2 hands and another -2 for the size difference between you two. Also, going after his weapon like this will provoke an Opportunity Attack from him. Also, don’t forget that the axe is made of ice and might hurt to touch. Let me know what you want to do?”

Cruise Control is boring. Going the same speed all the time gets old fast. Take hold of the wheel, slam down the accelerator, and get ready for a wild ride!

A simple matter of volume…

I know all five of you people out there actually reading this blog secretly (or openly) yearn for some ranting instead of raving. Let’s face it, we all like dirty laundry. And since I consider myself a slave to my virtual audience, it seems only reasonable for my second post to be a rant. I expect this rant to hit far too close to home and therefore alienate my reader base, leaving me with perhaps one or two faithful fans.

Anyway, on to the Rant!

I could attempt to explain the point behind this trip to the soap box, but I think it best to convey my point through example. Allow me to paint the scene. You just finished a hard day of work at the office. You pack up your things, be they a laptop and empty Tupperware from lunch or a fashionable portfolio and a high quality ball point pen with your name engraved on it. Content that you have collected the belongings you choose to bring home, you stroll over to the elevator, a brisk and joyous pace in your step. You press the button to call the elevator; that lovely button that is your direct access to blissful egress from yet another day of tedium on the job. After a few anxious moments, you hear the heavenly intonation of the elevator arriving on your floor. You hop in and press the button for the ground floor (or lobby – work with me here). Another few short moments and the elevator chimes at you with glee once again. You have reached the final stage of departure! You take your first step out of the elevator and –

What’s this?! Someone is standing in front of the elevator! But wait, it gets better! They actually walk INTO the elevator before you get a chance to react, too stunned by this effrontery to do anything other than stand motionless with mouth agape. You are left with two options – push through them or wait for them to bull their way onto the elevator before you leave, delaying your precious escape from the nine to five grind.

Perhaps you don’t have an office job. No matter. Imagine a similar scenario when you are getting off the elevator at a shopping mall or a museum or an apartment complex. And it doesn’t end at elevators, but I’ll simmer on this specific example for a moment before I press onward. Back when I was a wee lad, my mother taught me it was polite to let people get OFF the elevator before getting on the elevator. I was taught to stand on the side of the elevator to wait patiently for all parties within to find their way out of the box with doors that brings you up and down. This was a simple lesson to learn as a child and it has served me well through the years.

But I can trump the concept that mere politeness is why you should let people off the elevator first. It also makes logical sense. To state it as simply as possible – the less people there are in an elevator, the more room there is for you. That’s all there is to it. People often demonstrate that they already comprehend this rule. If an elevator is packed enough, a person will typically pause their blustery advance because they have no choice; there is no room for them to enter, no matter how much they desire to race to their ultra critical destination. However, there is some threshold at which this no longer fires off synapses in the brain of the onrushing human.

While I have been yammering about elevators, the astute reader may have realized that this rant can apply to many other situations. A perfectly good extrapolation would be toward mass transit. Let people get off the train/subway car/bus before you get on. You want a seat, right? Walking into the local candy shop? Let little Billy and Mom leave the store first – it means more room for you when you get in! So not only are you doing the selfish thing and ensuring there is space for you once you get in, but you also get to look like you’re being polite doing it!

I’ll go so far as to say letting someone out of <insert location here> before you enter <insert same location here> is always the right call to make. Okay, except for air raids and tornadoes, but you get the idea. Besides, what’s the hurry anyway?

Okay, so it’s not the Chocolate Lasagna…

In interest of starting things off on a positive note, I’m going to rave about something before diving into a rant. And what better subject matter than food to find something rave worthy. But before I give away the surprise topic, let’s take a step back and learn a little about yours truly.

I expect food to be covered quite extensively here. This is for two reasons. The first is that I am a big fan of food. Brushing past the fact that without food I would be, well, dead, food is just a joyous and tasty experience (except when it’s bad food, but we won’t go there right now). For many of us, food is a focal point of our lives. And America likes it that way; with all of our fast food joints and restaurants that appear almost everywhere the eye can see (perhaps another topic for the future). Think about it for a moment…one of the most common things to do when socializing is to have people over for dinner or meet at a restaurant. Eating is a very traditional and central part of our social lives. Anyway, before I digress too much, the point is I like food and I like talking about it and I suspect most people agree with this sentiment.

The second reason I suspect I will discuss food often is because I am a lifetime member of Weight Watchers. Over the span of ten months, I shed just over ninety pounds of excess baggage from my formerly sad and large mass of flab. Losing this weight was hands down the second best thing I have ever done for myself (second? You’ll have to tune in to future installments if you want to learn the first.). Now I don’t claim to be some weight loss expert as a result, but I am proud of my accomplishment and do feel I can impart assorted words of wisdom and recommendations to those interested in shedding some pounds (and before you get any ideas, if you ask me too many questions I will tell you to join Weight Watchers, and that WILL be the best advice I can ever give). But aside from good ideas for eating right, I’ve also learned some irritating things about some food out there on the shelves, and you can be sure I’ll spend some time ranting about that.

Okay, back to the topic at hand. A fantastically delicious food. This one is simple and requires zero prep time, unless you count the commute prep time. So here’s what you do: Step 1 – Stop what you are doing right now. Step 2 – Get in a car, preferably yours or one you have legal permission to drive. Barring access to such a vehicle, I humbly recommend leveraging mass transit. Step 3 – Go to the nearest Outback. You could go to one that isn’t nearest, but there’s no reason to delay this tasty experience. Step 4 – Order the Carrot Cake. Yes, the Carrot Cake. Step 5 – Eat with aplomb.

What’s so great about this carrot cake you ask? In one word – everything. Allow me to elaborate. The cake itself is phenomenal. After detailed scientific analysis (by which I mean looking at it closely and picking at it a bit with a fork), it appears that said cake has not only carrots, which you might expect in a carrot cake, but pineapple as well. Other staples, such as raisins, exist in this cake as well, but the pineapple is what takes this slice of heaven and knocks it clear out of the ballpark. To call this cake moist is to do it a disservice because it is moister than any other cake I have ever tasted. And that’s just the cake.

I’m sure there are others out there like me; I eat cake solely as an excuse to consume icing. I am such a fan of frosting that my Aunt used to save the leftover Betty Crocker icing after she made a cake just so she could give it to me when she next visited (shocking I would have needed to lose weight isn’t it?). So when I tell you how amazing the cake in the carrot cake is and still tell you I eat it just as an excuse to eat the frosting, you can fully understand just how good this icing is. For those who haven’t had carrot cake before, the traditional icing for such a cake is a cream cheese icing. I know what you’re thinking and stop it. This isn’t like someone just slaps some cream cheese on top of a cake; I’m sure that would border on disgusting. No, this is cream cheese infused with sugary goodness, and just like all icings it can be found in various forms that sport a wide range of tastiness and thickness. Needless to say, this icing is top notch, the cream of the crop.

Thinking about this carrot cake, I’m going to drill into my Step 5 above just a bit and recommend the only right and proper way to eat this carrot cake and give it the respect it deserves. So, Step 5a – Eat all the cake, taking care to scoop up as little of the icing as possible. Step 5b – go to town on the icing. Step 5c – scrape up every last bit of icing on your plate.

So what are you waiting for? Go get some Carrot Cake!!

It Starts…

In case you haven’t been looking around, this world is suffering from a severe case of insanity. It’s everywhere and it’s hard to miss. Take in a dose of news from your medium of choice – television, the internet, or good old fashion newsprint. It will only take a few minutes to realize that there is too much going on and most of it isn’t all that good.

But I’m not here to waste time talking about current events. Okay, I’ll admit that current events may turn out to influence some of my musings, but that’s not the point of this site. Don’t expect annotated articles or hot political debates or charged sermons inciting everyone to raise up in arms against some cosmic wrong. Nay, such topics are not for this site. Instead, I shall focus on what I consider everyday, run of the mill topics. I’ll rant about commercials that treat us like we’re stupid (aren’t we though?), rave about some fantastic new game, and share my ramblings on funky aspects of the English language.

So is any of what I do on this site new? I’d never make such a claim. However, I will claim that what I write is real. That I have a voice that deserves to be heard. And perhaps along the way something I write will strike a chord within you; make you nod in agreement, shake your head in disgust, or just make you chuckle. So read on for an experience that possibly makes you think, potentially enlightens, but mostly strives to entertain.